


Fool Me Twice

by dollipop



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol, Drinking, Embarrassment, M/M, Texas Roadhouse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-20 10:08:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19990369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dollipop/pseuds/dollipop
Summary: A sequel to Fucked Up at Joe's Crab Shack. It's Draco's birthday at a steakhouse with a special birthday treat.





	Fool Me Twice

At first, Draco had said no. There was no way. not after last time. Fool me once, etc. It took some sneaky maneuvering on Harry's part. Who knew Gryffindors could be so manipulative? At first when Draco said no Harry begged, tried to convince. But then it was "you probably wouldn't like it anyway" and "it's not your type of place, there's no mother of pearl inlaid in the silverware" and finally "your father would be appalled". That last one did the trick.

Harry got there first, of course. Draco had to be fashionably late. When he apparated around the corner and came to the front door, his apprehension was proven justified. Last time it was that crab shack place, and they had gotten very very drunk on cheap alcohol that tasted like fruit. and then they might have had sex in a bathroom stall. It was hard to remember. But this. This was unconscionable. Draco almost turned around, but Harry had been poking his head out the door on the off chance he'd catch Draco arriving, and that stupid grin... he was so excited. Like a puppy. Draco sighed and went through the doors and into Texas Roadhouse.

"Harry, what are we doing here?"

Harry just grinned.

The decor was.. . there. Something crunched underfoot and draco discovered peanut shells littering the floors everywhere, which was just. Baffling. Harry waved him toward the host stand and he walked past armadillos on the wall, mounted deer heads, a variety of historical memorabilia. Crunch crunch crunch. 

The host seated them in a booth in the corner and Draco immediately ordered a whiskey on the rocks. He had the feeling he would need it. He also had the feeling that he was expected to order a beer with the word "lite" at the end of it.

Country music blared all around the couple as they looked over the menu and Draco had trouble even thinking straight over the noise. Why in the hell had Harry chosen this place for dinner? it wasn't even Harry's type of place; as far as Draco knew, Harry hadn't suddenly fallen in love with the American South and the culture therein. There was a bucket of peanuts on the table, which was, presumably, where all of the shells on the floor were coming from, but for the life of him draco couldn't understand the appeal of just. . . throwing peanut shells on the floor. Why. 

Who lived like this?

The drinks came, Draco's whiskey and something tall and red for Harry. Probably one of those deceptive cocktails that draco was slowly becoming acquainted with. So far, Draco wasn't sure why Harry had insisted on this place for his birthday dinner. Besides, wasn't it usually up to the person whose birthday it was where they ate? 

God the music was loud. Draco had started sipping his drink, but as the music pounded away at his skull, sipping turned to flat out drinking, and soon he was flagging down the server for another. Harry ordered for them, an appetizer, something like a budding onion? Whatever the hell that was.

What came out a few moments later looked like nothing draco had ever seen. Had they just. . . battered and deep fried an entire onion? 

God bless america.

It was actually pretty good, a little too fast food for draco's taste but made more palatable by the amount of whiskey coursing through his veins, which was growing by the moment. 

The server came around again.

Harry said: "I'll have a ribeye, medium rare, baked potato and corn."

Draco said: "I'll have the cobb salad."

Harry said: "No you will not."

Apparently salads were out of the question.

Apparently one does not order a salad when one is at a steak house.

Harry ordered for him, again (bossy), the same thing as he'd gotten himself. Then he ordered Draco another whiskey. Draco wondered why Harry was trying to get him drunk, but decided not to overthink it. It was probably to soothe the headache that was forming to the tune of Achey Breaky Heart. 

Later, Draco would swear that he'd gotten goosebumps as he finished his third drink. Like he'd known something was coming. Like he'd heard the jaws theme, dun dun.

Dun dun.

Around the corner came a server, and then more servers. And then behind all of them, one final server, who was pushing something. As they got closer, Draco realized it was a saddle on some kind of wheeled thing. He wondered where they were taking it, were they changing up decor in the middle of dinner service? 

And then they stopped at his table.

He looked at harry, who had the shit eatingest grin plastered on his face.

He had planned this, whatever was about to happen.

The servers started shouting about how they had a birthday in the building (yee haw)

and then they told draco to climb up on the saddle.

Draco, his face a mask of horror, declined.

The servers booed, the restaurant booed, Harry booed.

Draco vowed revenge.

His fourth drink was sitting on the table, waiting for him, so Draco downed it in one, looked Harry dead in the eyes, and stood up. He maintained eye contact as he stepped over to the saddle and dropped gracefully onto it, stared at Harry the entire time the group of servers sang the birthday song, and as he got off the saddle and sat down.

The two finished their meal in relative silence, Harry actually seeming a little nervous at the rage that was obvious behind Draco's eyes. He had known there would be no way out of that situation for Draco. Either he would be ridiculed for not sitting on the saddle, or ridiculed for doing it. It was a win-win for Harry, but he was starting to wonder about the cost of his victory.

When the pair had paid the check, they left, and Draco took Harry's hand. Harry relaxed a little. Surely he couldn't be that angry.

Draco apparated as soon as they had turned the corner, taking them both to his house. He pushed Harry against the wall, one hand on his throat and the other in his hair, pulling hard.

"Did you really think you'd get off scot free, Potter?"

Harry decided then that it had been worth it.


End file.
